The (Sweet) Familiarity of Pain

having fibro has become a part of my daily life - I fought it but it is not a game you can win. You can beat it to a draw but you can't kick it out.... just sayin'.

I am fond of saying things like "I have fibro, it doesn't have me" simply because I have fibro at a draw - I can function, not at the physical level I sued to, but I can do things without my cane/s. To me, that is good.

I went apartment hunting with TeenDream and friends yesterday. While in the office of one of the complexes I went to walk across the room, completely missed seeing a step down and ended up stumbling and wrenching my lower back.... just call me Grace. The initial pain wasn't too bad, but one thing I have learned is that we fibromites do not interpret pain in the same way, nor do our pain receptors respond similarly to you "normal" people. Our pain receptors just keep pushing out signals of pain even when the painful stimuli is gone. Many of us have since developed high tolerances for pain.

TeenDream got me home to my vicodin as fast as possible without speeding (I was very proud) and helped me into bed, brought me water... did all those sweet care-taking things that he has learned about over the last two years. After an hour, when the vicodin still wasn't working he asked if I wanted a muscle relaxer - I replied that half a flexoril would be good. He handed me a whole one. Then he said "I could force you to take it" and that was that. I took it.

See, he knows how stubborn I can be about my pain. He knows when he can boss me and when he can't. Yesterday I was a mess. Today I am a mess. I am grumpy and he is being bossy but it works out.

He feeds me. Makes sure I have water and my pills as needed and as he bosses. He is cute when he does it. Of course, I wouldn't tell him that - he would just be disgusted. Of course, if I wasn't a little loopy from the vicodin I probably wouldn't think he was cute at all, just that he is a little dictator....

So, I'm taking my vicodin haze and resting... a nap sounds pretty good right now. Maybe pain will be les when I wake up? Uh, probably not.... you are all due for two or three more vico-blogs.

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