Today I fly to San Diego to look for a new house. Sounds simple but it is actually very emotional and "entangled" for me.
First, I have never purchased a house on my own. I know what to ask, what to look at, how to build my offer.... but I have never done it on my own. The Hubster is trusting me in a huge way.
Second, the house has all sorts of symbolism.... I will have gone around 352 days without my husband when I finally get him back. I only get him for about three weeks before he has to fly off again, but I want those three weeks to be perfect. Whether or not we have a new home by then is not the big thing, the big thing is that when we are finally together in our new home in San Diego we will have gone through so much apart that I want things to be perfect... well, perfect for us. Which is totally different than perfect for others. The Hubster likes to have projects... he loves to build things and care for things. FInding a house that has projects is easy - finding a house that has the right projects is a little more difficult. We will be empty nester's - together. I will have done it on my own but he will not have experienced it yet. We will have grown emotionally - you can't be a part for this long and not grow. We won't be totally familiar with each other anymore. We will have both experienced things that are important, and we will have done it separately. I want our new home to be a place that encourages us to be together and grow together again.
Third, it has to be good for me. A place I can entertain, work, grow, cook, and write. A place of comfort, where I can comfort others.
The best thing about moving to San Diego is that my Sunny is there. I can see her pretty much whenever I want. We can drink champagne and be silly. We can have deep talks and give hugs without having to post it on each other's facebook walls or texting "{{hugs}}" to each other.
So I'm nervous. So nervous I can't even figure out what to wear on the plane. Kind of silly since I am getting there in the middle of the night. And I am excited. Sad.... leaving our friends in VA will be hard. We have been there 6 years.
Jeez, I am a watering pot this morning.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
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