Thursday, December 23, 2010

Chick is in the Nest

I have been staying with Mama for the last few weeks, several hundred miles from my house and TeenDream. It has been good but I worry so much that it has interfered with my sleep.

I know I shouldn't worry excessively - he is smart and careful. Well, as careful as a teen actually can be. And he has friends that will help him out of a jam, and adults he can call on..... still, I worry. I don't worry about him doing stupid things like drinking and driving or riding with someone who has been drinking... pretty sure Mom the ex-cop has pounded that into his head. It is just that amorphous general worry thing that parents are destined to do when their chicks are no longer living in the nest, rather they have built their own nests and are thriving. I really don't like it - the worry, not the fact that he is thriving.

I worry about SailorBoy too, but not as much - he is 24. I should probably worry more about SailorBoy and less about TeenDream but a mother's heart doesn't work like that. Whatever.

Anyway, TeenDream arrived last night. YAY. I kind of got pissed at Sis#2 - I didn't even get one whole minute alone in the yard with him before she was down there asking him questions (mom questions too) and walking in between us up the stairs. I guess I should count myself lucky I got to hug him without her hovering but I just wanted to smack her. Not very kind of me but there it is.

Whichever way things went, my boy is here, in the same house for several days. My "mom radar and worry gene" can take a break. I can rest easy knowing he is here, with me, and no matter what happens I can care for him.

Nice. Merry Christmas to me!

And Merry Christmas to you.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Catholic Voodoo?!?! Really!?!?

So, I am trying to sell a house in VA? Anybody buying? No. Anybody even looking? Nope. Kind of freaking out here. The house has been on the market for a month or so and no-one has even come in to look. It is a great house. 4 bedrooms, three full baths, big great room, nice kitchen... hot tub, fenced yard, work shed with electricity.... yeah, I'm selling. Can't you tell?

Anyway, when you are selling a house everyone has advice - even people who have never owned a house. Especially people who have never owned a house. They want to help you price it. They want to help you get it ready for viewing. They just want to help... a lot. It is kind of annoying. What do they know, anyway? Nothing. But you can't scream "Go Away!" if you want to remain their friend so you just nod, and smile, and say "Thanks. I'll think about it" when they suggest things like having an open house (expensive and not necessarily helpful) or having the yard landscaped (are you kidding me?). Whatever.

I was in Church with my Mama a few weeks ago and we ran in to an old family friend. As we talked it came out that I am selling my house.

"Did you get your Saint?" she asked. Mind you, we are Episcopalian so while we get the whole Saint thing, we don't pray for intercession like Catholics do and our focus is definitely more on Jesus and the whole Father, Son, Holy Ghost kind of worship.

"Um, what Saint?" I replied.

"Oh my goodness, I can't remember what Saint... darn it, and we just did it too. When we were selling our house?"

"I'm sorry. I have no idea what you are talking about." I replied. Actually, I thought she might be having a little fit or something and tried to spot her husband or one of her kids (yep - they are all near my age so the odds of finding them was pretty slim).

"Oh, you know. When you are selling your house you go buy this Saint and bury him upside down in the back yard facing the house and say a little prayer and your house sells. Ours did."

"Wow," I said. "I have never heard of that. Nope, not ever." Okay, now I knew there was something seriously wrong with her but was at a total loss of what to do.

"Well, you just go get you a Saint and bury him sweetie, your house will sell fast." And with that, she was off.

Mama and I just chuckled and sat down for the service.

Later that day I went visiting my Uncles - my Mama's best friend and my Dad's younger brother - to talk to each of them about a house I want to buy in CA. At my Unky Joe's house (yes, I call him Unky Joe and will until the last day) I brought up the Saint.

"Oh yeah" he said. "Go on down to the Nun's store on Beaufain St. and get you a kit. They sell 'em."

"Joe, we need to get one too, before we put the house on the market." said his wife. And the conversation ensued regarding the Saint, the proper way to bury him, and what the prayer might be.

Okay, this was starting to take some shape, weird shape, but shape nonetheless.

I hit the Nun's store on Saturday. Walked right on in and looked at the Nun behind the counter - these Nun's still wear the "uniform" and I like that. Anyway, I said "Sister, I am selling my house."

She smiled and said "St. Joseph statues are in the basket at the end of the shelf down there and prayer cards are on the wall right above it."

I asked for instructions... where to bury him and how, what all I need to do. At this point I had heard the story from so many people and gotten conflicting directions - upside down in the front yard, upside down in the back yard facing the house.... I just wanted to make sure all my Catholic t's were crossed and i's dotted, you know? She said, bless her heart, "Coming in and buying the statue was an of faith... you can just put him in the window and say the prayer daily and that will work."

$4.25 later and I have a statue of St. Joseph and the card and am on my way.

Now I am sitting in my house. I have St. Joseph currently on my desk. I have said the prayer. I have talked to various people about it and, during dinner with my Jewish friend, came up with a plan.

I said the prayer today, on the phone with a friend - B1. I intend to say the prayer every day - also with a friend - because as B1 said... "where two or more are gathered together...."

Tomorrow I will be burying St. Joseph, upside down, in the back yard, facing the house.

Catholic voodoo.... I will let you know how it all works out.

SO, now we continue....

I've been sick. Really sick with bronchitis. And I miss my husband. And I am trying to sell my house. And I am trying to get moved to CA. And, and, and.....

Finally starting to feel better from the sickness... still coughing up some of the nasty stuff but the lungs seem to be clearing up - it only took three rounds of antibiotics and two of steroids but at least we are finally making some progress. Now I just have to get down to the nitty gritty of moving - packing, copies of orders, appointments.... hotel reservations, driving directions, dog hotels.... coordinating dates when I don't actually have dates for The Hubster's arrival - that is kind of making me crazy.

See, I have no idea when he might fly off the current ship nor how long it will take to get from wherever he is at that time to CA. So, can't plan the dates of a hotel stay or my travel with any coordination. That means I don't know how long I get to have him with me. That sucks. I do know that we (or I, depending) should be able to get the new house unpacked and set up so that I can fly back and pick of the car and the dogs and Mama and head cross country. Yippee.

Then I get Mama for a few weeks before she flies back to SC and home. That will be nice. I like having her all to myself sometimes.

And I'll be able to jump into a new "ship family". That will be nice. I have truly missed that with this tour. I have non-Navy friends, and navy friends that have all given me good support but it isn't the same as having a ship family. They are in the same boat with you at the same time... it makes a difference. Getting a "I know how you feel" from someone whose husband will be home at the end of the day just doesn't carry as much impact, even though you know that they do know how you feel, they aren't feeling it with you right then. I miss that.

I miss knowing the spouses of the people The Hubster works with. I miss having a group of people to hang out with that are truly going through the same thing. Deployment is hard... I hope we never have to do another tour like this one.

I miss my life. That is it. I miss better contact with my sailor, I miss having an FRG and meetings and things planned to pass the time. I miss knowing who I can go to for what.... I know he will retire one day and we will settle somewhere - that will be good - different ties will bind us then. But for now... I really want my ship family.

Ready to go get started...