Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bank of America really irritates me!

SO, we are working on buying a house out in CA... it is a short sale too, which they handle very weirdly in CA... the "homeowners" get to approve or disapprove offers on the house before the bank even sees them. Odd, but whatever. They liked our offer, signed the paperwork and now it is off to the bank for approval. No biggie.

Wait, did I say no biggie? Wrong, the selling realtor calls our realtor and says that she needs our birth dates and the first five of our social security numbers in order to fill out the on-line paperwork in the program that Bank of America requires for all short sales. Hmmm.... um, NO!

My realtor, bless her heart, is fantastic. She listened to me rant a little - things like "I am giving them money, not borrowing money. I do not want to give out this information, with the first five to them they will have my whole social once they receive the paperwork from my lender that has the last four on it and, my favorite, are people rally stupid enough to give it to them?"

Think about it - with your name, date of birth and social security number someone can definitely steal your identity. Granted, there are times you do have to provide this information, but not to a financial institution you are BUYING something from. Bank of America can only be doing one thing... building a database. Now, I know I am in many different databases... we all are. It is a fact of life these days. However, these are databases I am AWARE of being in. How many people who do not bank with them are in their list?

How awful would it be for this to be stolen... and we all know it happens. If this database of non-customers is violated is Bank of AMerica even required to disclose that information? How would they explain it? And how many people actually know what financial institution they are dealing with during a short sale of foreclosure?

So, my realtor, again, bless her heart, kept me on her cell while she called BofA from a land line and put it on speaker. Let me say this, even if I did deal with this bank I would make other arrangements for my money after hearing how that "customer service" rep spoke to my realtor. Nasty doesn't cover it. But Julie (my gal) plugged on in her polite way and finally got the answer.

"Have the listing agent call us and we will walk her around it."

"So, it isn't actually required?" asks Julie.

"No. Just have her call us" (I really wish her nasty tone could be conveyed with the written word)

"Okay. Well, thank you very much for the help" says Julie.

Dial tone. You got it - she hung up without saying anything else. Unbelievable.

Needless to say, BofA will not be getting the first five of our social security numbers and the on-line paperwork will still be filed.

Here' to common sense and knowledge of rights. Just wish more people had them and then businesses like this wouldn't be able to get away with things so easily.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Wondering if I can get there......

Just where is she trying to go, you may ask. Well, I am trying to lose a little weight before I see the Hubster. I have done pretty good so far... mostly because I have been doing what I should be doing - working out and eating better foods and eating less. In a week I have lost about three pounds. Some of that has been water and some has been due to the Detox Cleanse thing I have been doing.... either way, six more pounds in the nest three weeks and I will be happy.

Now, as to the why of it..... several posts ago I mentioned the The Hubster had outgrown his uniforms... this is because he has been working out two or three times a DAY - that is right, per day, not per week. Sheesh. It didn't totally sink in how big he was getting.. how in shape he now is. The worst part? He has always been in good shape and his weight hasn't fluctuated more than 4 pounds since we have been married unless he was a) sick or b) working out. Me? My weight fluctuates more than 3 pounds from morning to night... and has about a 35 pound swing up and down over the last three years.

In my defense, much of the extra weight was INITIALLY due to the firbromyalgia meds. Every single one had the side effect of weight gain... I think when combined the result was exponential weight gain. Damn.

The issue is that losing the weight is much harder in one's 40's than in one's 20"s... not that I needed to lose weight up until my 40's.... this decade is really bringing me down.

Whatever. Back to the point. Why the rush to lose now? I've known he was working out for months!

Well, I'll tell you. He sent a picture. A picture in which I could see how he had changed. Damn.

There is no way I can lose the total amount I want/need to in the next month - not unless I cut off a leg or something, but I can lose ten. I can do that. I might not look one bit different but I think I will feel a little better about myself.

I am such a whiner.

Monday, January 17, 2011

What to Wear?

I get The Hubster back in about a month. Yay.

I have no idea what to wear. Boo.

The last time I saw him was around June 8th, 2010. It will have been about nine months. Sheesh... if I still had the requisite parts I could have had a baby by then. That is truly a long time. The last time he was me I was tan, thin, and pretty darn sexy looking for an old gal. Now I am pasty white, a little heavier, and not so sexy feeling.

It is difficult to figure out what to wear in these circumstances... trust me, it is difficult under the really good ones too.

It will be around Valentine's Day - maybe before, maybe after... no on knows at this time.

I have been shopping on-line, in person, mentally gone over my whole wardrobe 20 or thirty times..... I have no idea what to wear.

There is the new red dress.... sexy, but subtle. Well, as subtle as a red dress can be anyway.

There is the new black jumpsuit.... sexy but covered.

There is the patterned dress - purple, cream and black.... shows some serious cleavage but not too sexy.

There is the standard jeggings, boots, and a cute top.... shows the shape of my legs (which I will say are pretty darn good) and is casual yet can be sexy with the right top.

There is the very cute pink and white dress.... shows serious, serious cleavage but is pretty darn cute.

And shoes... sheesh! What shoes will I wear? Do I go for sexy or comfortable or somehow try to do both? If I wear boots and jeggings I know I will be comfortable but I think sexy trumps comfort under these conditions. Then again, I will be standing at the airport for a while maybe.....

Jewelry! What jewelry? Something I made or something he gave me? OMG.... I am driving myself insane.

Perfume or not? He likes perfume.... okay, one thing decided I will wear perfume now to figure out which one.

All I want to do is knock his socks off.

One friend says red dress. One friend says black jumpsuit. One friend says go naked. One friend says wear a trench coat and nothing else.....

I guess I will be trying everything on and modeling for my Mama..... taking pictures and mailing them to my besties.... making up my mind and then changing it over and over.... freaking out on THE DAY of and then wearing the first thing I pick out of the closet.

Sounds good... now if I can only minimize the clothing drama between now and then!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

So, Friends or Not? I Say NOT!!

I have been trying to sell my house in VA... we all know that. I have the Beasties... not conducive to selling a house. My choices were to take the beasties in and out of the house every time someone wanted to look at it, as well as removing all Beastie paraphernalia from the house (some people won't buy a house that an animal has lived in). Quite frankly, the effort it would take would make me crazy and set my poor little Beasties right off their feed. Well, Boy Beastie would have food issues, Girl Beastie can and will eat anything any time anywhere. Whatever.

Long and short of it, the dogs and I have removed to my Mama's house. I have some friends who need money and they agreed to watch the house, collect the mail, keep the yard clear of trash, and clean the house once a week (dust, wipe counters and flush toilets - maybe an hour). For this I would pay them $20 a week, in advance. They would call or text me when I got bills so that I could pay them. How hard is that?

When I went up after Thanksgiving everything looked pretty okay. Not perfect but good enough. I paid them extra money before I left to rake the yard. This was the first week of December.

I called them on Friday a week ago to let them know that the house was being shown on Saturday and ask if they could get the house done Friday instead of Saturday.

"Sure, what do you want me to do abut the leaves?" he said.
"Why are there leaves still in the yard?" I asked.
"Well, I ran out of bags." he said.

Let me stop here because the rest of the conversation just pisses me of beyond beyond. Really, it make me crazier than a squirrel whose lost his nuts. Suffice to say that, in the FIVE WEEKS since they had been paid they had not contacted me to say that they ran out of bags. They had not contacted me to say they needed anything. They had managed to rake the front yard and left the back yard nasty. Pissed does not cover it. I bet the damn leaves are still in my yard.

So, I texted them today and asked if any of my bills were there as I know my gas, water, and sanitation bills are coming up. Oh, they texted back... "We are sure they are due, we'll call when we get home." So, they call. I have two of them... water and gas. They give me the totals and the due dates.

"The gas was due on the 10th?!?" I yelped.
"Yeah, that's what is says" she replied.
"I thought you were supposed to text me or call when bills got in?" I queried.

She was silent. I guess she could tell I was pissed.

Anyway, after a few second I said "I will be up on Wednesday, see you then." and hung up. I couldn't get out anything else calmly and politely. See, they might pay their bills late or in part and they might have their power, water, phone, cable, whatever cut off but I don't. I pay bills when they come in, in full. I understand being poor, I was poor for a very long time. We aren't rich, we are comfortable and I budget well. Bills always get paid before fun is had.. that is just the way I operate.

See, I don't want to yell at them. I don't want acrimony. I just want to get back the keys to my house, hire someone else to do the work, pack out my stuff and leave again with no fuss no muss.

They have been pretty good friends to me right up until this. Now I have to wonder if they were ever really my friends.

I think not.

Sigh. I hate it when things like this happen.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I think I'll be a Hermit Crab, or Sarah Palin.

If you have been paying any attention to the news, one of AZ congresswomen, Gabby Giffords, was shot, along with 18 other people, six of whom died. One of them was a young girl, only 9. Sad. Tragic. Horrific. The gunman yelled something and then just started shooting people in the head.

There were some heroes:

The young aide to the congresswoman who forged through the chaos to be at her side. He ran into the gunfire.

The two men who tackled the shooter.

The older woman who grabbed the magazine from the shooter's hands as he was trying to reload.

The men who threw themselves in front of their wives to protect them from harm.

The people who ran TOWARDS danger in hopes of saving/helping their fellow man.

Heroes, every single one of them.

Within hours, hours, the local Sheriff, an elected official and a democrat (yes, his party is vitally important at this time) took art in a news conference and decried the Conservative vitriol and rhetoric that led this young man to commit this mass murder/shooting. Well. That was a shocker.

Then other liberal elected officials, news anchors, and the press in general took up the cry of foul, foul Conservatives, your party is responsible for this. Unbelievable.

Then they said that it was Sarah Palin's fault. Really? I've seen her "Sarah Palin's Alaska" and actually found it entertaining and nothing to cause me to shoot up a Safeway, or Food Lion, or Harris Teeter - no matter how high their prices. Now, I get that she is quite passionate that a more conservative approach to government would save all of us lots of money, and do the same for our children, that she stumped the election circuit at the REQUEST of conservatives running for office, and that she is pretty much "in your face" when it comes down to the brass tacks of things, but how on earth did her rhetoric cause this? Really?

So, a friend of mine posted one of the many articles regarding this horrible moment in AZ history. Yes, he is a freaky liberal - really out there. The article also said that Sarah Palin was responsible for it. What crap.

I responded with actual facts....

1. The gun is a tool... the size of the magazine has nothing to do with anything... he just would have reloaded earlier.
2. The election was over months ago.... if the so called "Conservative VItriol and Rhetoric" was going t incite this kind of behavior you think it would have happened sooner.
3. His friends have stated two things about his political leanings: a) he is apolitical and only watches some strange youtube channel that deals with currency issues or b) he is a flaming liberal.

As I expected my friend, and his friends were in a frenzy over this. They did what most liberal (I refuse to say all as I know some very reasonable Democrats) do when confronted with facts - they picked phrases and took them out of context to make their points. When I restated the facts, calmly and rationally they chose to insult me. Wow. What a rational response to being wrong. Then they took pot shots at me - several of these grown boys (I hate to call them men), most in their forties or late thirties, don't even know me, have never met me, and have no idea what my personal beliefs are much less what my life experience is. It actually made for pretty good reading, if you like fiction.

I think the thing that pissed them off this morning was when I quoted President Obama at them. I don't like him, didn't vote for him, and think he is causing our country irreparable harm, but they think he is brilliant so I used him to prove them wrong. The President said that there should be no finger pointing, that no-one cold say what caused this to happen.

Well, they didn't like that one bit. They couldn't even respond directly to that.

But they did compare me to a hermit crab and to Sarah Palin.

Gotta love those liberals.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Holidays are over - YAY!!!

So, although I love the spirit of Christmas, and the "reason for the season" I do not particularly like the rest of the crap that comes with it. Tension, loneliness, crowds of inconsiderate people.... I find it exhausting which makes it hard to actually feel revivied on any level except as a Christian. I do feel good about celebrating the birth of Christ.

Anyway, on to other things. I need to quit smoking. Really. I tried after Thanksgiving made it three days before caving. I tried it this week - New Years and all that good stuff, and by the third day I was unreasonable angry - not testy, bitchy, annoyed.... deeply angry. No particular reason either. So, I was heading out to do some errands anyway and I bought cigarettes. I smoked one and immediately called my mother to confess. God bless her. We talked. We talked and talked about the why's and wherefores of the anger. Where was it coming from, why was I even feeling it. After all, I get The Hubster back for a few weeks her shortly, I have found (I hope) a place for us to live in CA, the kids are fine - really doing well too, both of them!

So we sorted things out. I handle things pretty well.... no matter what the trouble I can always calm myself and sort things out - feelings, hurt, anger.... and I had to do a good bit of that in 2010. In the process I unintentionally subverted some pretty big feelings. It wasn't that I ignored them but I didn't let them take their natural course... I just didn't have the time so I dealt with the surface stuff. I thought I had handled everything... that I was good and this was all in the past. Well, that is what I get for thinking. And, Momma said "I hate to say this, but this isn't the time for you to quit. You have to sort everything out, deal with it fully and then quit."

So, I am smoking. Working hard to cut down as much as I can.... I really want to quit but that anger I felt the other day - wow - I would hate to see what wold happen if I let loose with it... kind of scary to think about.

I hate dealing with this kind of stuff.... all the probing and deep thinking I have to do here shortly is just aggravating. Some things I just don't want to think about I just want to forget them. Hm. Kind of hard when I want to smack people.

So, my New Year's resolution is to deal with my old stuff so I can relegate it to the furtherest reaches of my mind closet and move forward.

Oh goodie.