So..... last night Sis#2 and I were talking about dating military men, being married to them, and some of the obligations that come along with it... this is a continuation of a talk we had a few weeks ago regarding military people and some behaviors you might see before they deploy. We also touched on thing like "when the drunk service member calls at 2 in the morning"....
My husband, God love him, has called me several times at 2 in the morning... a few of those times just a wee bit more than tipsy. Usually I take it with good humor - he misses me and wants to let me know he loves me. Every now and then (post-typhoon with raging double ear infections, no water, no power, and high temperatures...) yeah, not so happy about it. Then I cuss him. Rudely.
I don't know if female service members do this, but I can definitely state that many of the men do... regardless of the branch of the service they are in. Other men with jobs that take them away from home do it too.
My Sis#2 was appalled. She just doesn't get it - military wives can't be high maintenance.... if we are our marriages tend to fail. We have to have different expectations of our spouses.... they can't be home for dinner every night... military life doesn't work that way. They can't call/e-mail every day when they are gone.... military life doesn't work like that either. We love the phone calls... even the drunken ones. Maybe not at the time, but in retrospect those calls make a pretty good story at parties.
Are we masochists? Maybe to the outside eye, but to those of us married to service members.... we just understand. We get it. The extreme pressure they are under can do two things to a marriage - it can break it, and in some cases it does. Or it can make it - which is the case with strong spouses.... we don't have to be babied and coddled, although sometimes our service members do that. We don't need to be catered to. We don't need constant reinforcement. We are strong, capable, able.... our love is strong enough to weather the separations, storms, and issues that crop up.
Masochists? Hardly. Loving, forgiving, supportive military spouse. You betcha.