Thursday, July 15, 2010

Why do you even care?

I drove TeenDream to the airport yesterday. He was heading off to visit family. We stopped to get him some food before his flight and had some light conversation - mostly about travel etc. he hasn't flown in a while and did NOT want me to go into the airport with him to get him checked in. No big surprise there.

Anyway, we came to a stop light and i noticed my forehead in the rearview mirror and made the comment "Hey, I've almost come to terms with my forehead. Check it out, my wrinkles are going away and I didn't even need Botox."

Small explanation: I have worn bangs for the last 30 years and decided to grow them out. I have two brow wrinkles that really bother me and I have been concentrating on not furrowing my brown and using good anti-aging stuff on my face... battling age 'til the end!! ANd I wouldn't think of Botox as an alternative.

TD: "Why do you care Mom?"

Me: "What do you mean why do I care?"

TD: "Mom. You're married and almost 50, why do you care what you look like?"

(I wanted to pop him but I laughed instead)

Me: "Why shouldn't I care about whether or not I am attractive?"

TD: "You are vain."

Me: "When you are married and your wife is 'almost 50' do you want her to be a fat wrinkled slob or would you rather she care about her appearance?"

TD: "Well. if we are almost 50 then we are supposed to look old. Anyway, you already look lots younger than you are. You're just vain. And you are judgmental."

Me: "Judgmental?"

TD: "Yeah. You should record yourself when you are talking to people and then listen back... you are judgmental. Judgmental and vain."

Me: "Really." Said with great sarcasm that I think TeenDream missed. I'm judgmental - this from a boy who just told me I was vain because I don't want to look old and wrinkled.

TD: "Yeah. You should have a gavel and long black robes."

Me: "I think I would make a great judge."

TD: "No, you need a scepter. You are the Queen of Judgmentalism." (I haven't looked that up but I am sure he is following in the fine family tradition of making up words to suit the situation.)

Me: "Well, I have a scepter. And several tiara's. Maybe I should start wearing them around."

TD: "That's not funny." (I think he was scared I would actually start doing it.) (And I just might!)

Me: "You give me all this grey hair - you know, the grey hair I cover with dye because I am so vain."

TD: "Well, dyeing your hair is not as bad as Botox. Relatively speaking."

Me: "I am thinking of getting one of those chin and neck exercises though." (Said for effect although I have honestly considered it.)

TD: "Mom, you have issues."

By now we are at the airport and I am stopping to let him out.

Me: "Give your issue laden, vain, judgmental Mom and hug and get out. I love you."

TD: "I love you too."

I will remember that conversation for the rest of my life. When he is 50 or "almost 50" and working out or dieting or worried about losing his hair and his wife is worried about weight gain and wrinkles I will remind him. i will tell him he is vain. I will let him know he is judgmental.

And I will laugh until I wet my pants and he has to change my adult diaper.

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